"I Choose"

“There are only 3 things that can make your dreams come true: your thoughts, your words, and your actions.” ~Mike Dooley

There are so many things in life that we can not choose. The weather; rain, sun, a destructive tornado. The words, actions or reactions of someone else. When a loved one will leave this earth. The gender of our babies. How we will fall in love or with who. We don’t even get to choose when our own personal transformation will take place. Our work is really to simply show up each day, despite the conditions around us that we are not in charge of, and make small steps toward our goals. But being in control makes us feel safe so we mistakenly go about our day trying to take charge of a bunch of things that we can’t ever make different. And then, when they don’t go our way or if something does change in our favor all we do is crow about it.

Every day we are making hundreds of choices most of which we don’t realize we are making. The thoughts we think, the words we speak, the way that we feel, YES, the way we feel. Now let me say that this took me quite a while to wrap my head around and it has taken me some months of practice. Because before this awareness If I was angry, so I thought, it was someone else’s fault. They should know better, have said or done it different. If I was sad it was because they hurt me. If I was anxious it was because too much had been put on my plate.

This is the world happening to me.

For so long I’ve thought about it backwards. I tried to control the things I couldn't possibly and had forgotten the only things that I do have complete power over. The thoughts I think, the words I say, the beliefs I hold and the actions I take, when chosen consciously, allow me to step into a power that for so long seemed to be in someone else's hands.

Stop for a moment, close your eyes and repeat to yourself; “I have to” and feel into those words.

Do the same thing with; “I don’t want to” and notice what happens in your body. The tops of my shoulders and my neck instinctively tense. I feel a tightness across the front of my heart. Sadly, this is the reaction we have to so many things throughout the course of a day. “I don’t want to but I have to”. I even find myself saying “I have to about things that I want to do”. “I have to go to this party”; sounds rough, huh?

Take a moment and think of something that you want. Mine is often clarity, love, freedom, abundance etc. Any intention for anything you would like. Now, place the most powerful statement that you can possibly declare, in front of your intention; “I choose” and give it a little time.

Now do it with a thought; “I choose to think that I am not good enough”. Whoa, that's a big one.

Now do it with a feeling; I choose to be tired, angry, happy, joyful.

How bout, I choose to trust in my ability to move me closer to my dreams. Feel that for a moment.

This is good stuff. What I’ve realized is that if it’s something minor; a car cuts me off in traffic and I start to spin out about how rude people are. I stop and say “I choose” to be angry. The sheer insignificance of the incident will then make me laugh. “Really, I want to ruin my day by choosing that?? I don’t think so.”

Here’s where it gets interesting. What if it’s something not insignificant? Death, war, disease, destruction...remember, there are so many things we can’t choose. Then maybe we absolutely want/need/have to choose sadness, anger or fear. There are times we have to acknowledge that we, as the Dixie Chicks said, “aren’t ready to make nice” and know that is OK. All feelings are meant to be felt for the appropriate amount of time until we can move through them and know what exists on the other side. (I invite you read last month’s blog post for more on this).

Once we sit with the feeling we can know who it is we are beyond them, know what it is we truly want to embody in this lifetime. If I’m going to choose fear and sit with it and feel it fully and know it deeply, what I will find on the other side, is that my deepest longing is trust, safety, intimacy. So I will sit for as long as I need and say “I choose fear”. I will watch it, as uncomfortable as it is feel it, then, although it doesn’t seem like it could possibly happen, my light begins to shine through it. When I feel I’ve moved through it (which could take days or months), I can then say “I choose to trust” and begin to let go of the thoughts and habits that have been blocking me from allowing this intention. If I’m going to let anger well up to the point where my whole body feels like it’s on fire what I will surely find on the other side is the love that resides at my core and that all I truly want is forgiveness and freedom and humor in my life. “I choose. I choose. I choose.”

Say it. For every physical action, every thought, every feeling that comes up today, say it. And watch who you become.

“The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart.”  ~Mike Dooley

This blog post was inspired by the daily emails I receive from the Universe. You can get them too. www.tut.com

“In this time space reality we can not lose ----- but we can think that we have and that loss will seem intolerable. We cannot fail ----- but we can think we have and that pain will seem unbearable. And we cannot ever be less than we truly are powerful, eternal, loved ----- but we can think we are and all hope will seem lost. And therein lies our work. To see beyond appearances. To know the true as intimately as we know the false. A test of perceptions: of what to focus on, of what to believe in. How about, no matter the temptation, you no longer think or say, “I’m tired”, “I’m hurt”, “I’m angry”. Don’t even say or think “I’m happy”. Instead, whenever the urge arises, think or say, “I choose to be tired”, hurt, angry or happy” and give it a little time. Because this is how you become anything. Feelings are based on perceptions, which are based on beliefs, which at all times are chosen.” ~ The Universe