Last week we looked honestly our judgment, at the armor we’ve built around our wounds or as Gabby says, “where we are resisting love”.
This week was about discovering what exists when we develop acceptance and compassion around our judgment.
To look at our judgement is to change the relationship with it, not to delete it completely from our lives. However hard I work there are still going to be moments when I categorize things into good and bad, right and wrong. There will still be stresses in my life that will cause a habitual reaction of being guarded. I will never not give the side eye to someone leaving their grocery cart in the middle of the parking lot. But I will, as I’ve already seen, soften around all of my outward projections. Yesterday, I took the long way home from work. For someone who insists (mostly to myself) that I have the shortest, fastest way anywhere, this was huge for me. Leaving the studio a student said to me “my yoga mat was crooked the whole class, I hope you weren’t going crazy”. I laughed and was so shocked that I didn’t notice I shrieked “OMG, it’s working!” Then I turned away wide eyed and thought “Jesus, I needed this cleanse”.
Our judgment isn’t going away but we can develop the skill of softening around it. We can lesson our outward projections by moving through rather than around. This means that last week was crucial, feeling what we don’t often allow ourselves to feel, Gabby calls this “honoring the wound”. Rather than looking at this like a torture tactic I think it speaks to the incredible amount of hope that we have in a better way. Despite our judgment, critique of others, life’s stresses and our fear we still get out of bed every day. We still show up on the yoga mat. There’s hope that freedom, happiness and love are ours to have. Deep down we know that internal alignment is far more desirable than outward projection.
And alignment with our truest self is what we find in the space we give to our resistance. Next week we will talk about this alignment but for now have faith that there is beauty to found beneath the walls of protection we’ve built. A friend sent me this from Brene Brown last week.
“Imagine the Universe gently placing her hands on your shoulders and saying “it’s time”. All these coping mechanisms you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt --- they have to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand you needed these protections when you were small. You believed your armor could help you secure all the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging but this is a lie we’ve been told. And time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people will think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are cursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time.”